Dr. Karma was looking at me. 200 confirmed victims. I'd seen the movie. Leonardo finally won an Oscar for playing the man I was about to look in the eye. All I had to defend myself was a ballpoint pen.
I turned to him. He knew exactly what I'd just been told.
He put his hands up.
"John... they were all evil. You know that."
I didn't know what to say. The man I'd known as Dr. Brian Hobbes wasn't wrong.
He held his hands up, "One of them beat an eight year old to death with a brick."
What the hell was I supposed to say to that?
"John... another one used to go to the parking lots of community colleges and steal things out of cars. For fun! He said 'it's their fault for not doing better in high school'. He was a trust fund kid that totaled FIVE Maseratis!"
He knew I always dreamed of owning a Maserati.
"John... you married your high school sweetheart and stayed by her side as she died of cancer. When I threw up during the launch, you didn't laugh at me. You let me have the last pouch of organic orange juice."
Brian smiled. It was chilling in it's lack of humanity but reassuring in it's pure transparency.
"John... harming you wouldn't make me laugh at all. I mean, that's why I did it. For the laughs."
Brian laughed. Chilling but transparent.
Then he shrugged, "John, listen... if anything, you're going to be able to set yourself up for life because of this. You were on the ISS with the man they called "Dr. Karma". You survived being trapped in outer space with a madman. You're going to make a mint off this."
Then he smirked. A sexy, charming, utterly reptilian smirk.
"Buy that Maserati. On me."
There were no words. Nothing came to my lips.
Brian backed away. Towards the airlock.
"John... I'm not going to prison."
Brian entered the airlock.
"Tell them, John. Tell them all about what I'm going to do."
My mouth was dry. My tongue felt feline.
Somehow, I rasped out a single question.
"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice quavering.
Brian had his thumb on the button.
"I'm saving your life, John. I would have killed you no matter what."
I frowned. Confused.
"John... I know you also ate the last brownie. My concept of 'evil' is very loose. I'm a psychopath, after all."
Brian Hobbes pushed the button. The airlock closed. Lights flashed as he keyed in the second code.
Through the door, he shouted to me.
The outer door opened. He shouted one last time.
"I KNEW YOU KNEW! NEVER FORGET THAT! I KNEW YOU--"
Then he was gone. Out into space with the other aliens.